Tuesday, June 1, 2010

WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE FALLING APART

I have this dream so big in my soul that sometimes when I talk of it to people they want to come and see. I have learned to explain that my dream is still a work in progress : ) That it is not yet complete.

I run at it full tilt, and am sometimes sharply slapped down by unexpected disappointment. I have learned that there is no more uncompromising teacher than God, the Creator, and His creation. His lessons fill my life inexorably and patiently; and I have come to love it - after I have survived the disappointment; for every part of every lesson acts as a mirror to my soul. I have fancied myself so humble, till humbled by this world that is so unsusceptible to persuasion. I have fancied myself so deserving, until disappointment asked for courage and endurance instead. And I have laughed so big inside over large gifts in tiny parcels; like a precious plant that has managed to survive despite the odds, or a seed that germinates when I have been told it never would. Then I know I have been kissed by a Father so loving that He wants to show me He is watching, and that He is loving my loving too.

Getting my Food Forest structured and in place has stretched me to my physical limits some days. And the pace, so slowly matching the growing vision, can threaten discouragement when tired. I have learned not to assess anything when tired. I will usually have a very skewed perspective. And when, after a long season, I learn that I have made many mistakes, then it is easy to think that my life is doing more unraveling than progress made. How long it seems to take for me to learn. And then how long it takes for me to apply what I have learned.

But strangely, it is only when everything seems to be falling apart that I learn that He is still holding it all together. Who was I fooling in thinking I was keeping anything together anyway? Humbled in soul at majestic magnificence in detail and abundance I have been reduced down to size and found in it the secret to unlocking many treasures.  Step by step and day by day of learning and doing can accumulate into joyous results. 

And in all the struggles I have discovered that the journey is as important as those joyous results.

Until next time,
Chelle

3 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you are saying and I could not have said it any better. And yes, the results, despite the struggles are so unexpected and very often, joyous. Until next time, Thank you for following Deano

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  2. Thank you. You are welcome. Nice blog. Thank you for following Eden Paradigm.

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